Katrina Rose

Call This One the Sharron Angle Amendment

In Out of Context on September 7, 2010 at 7:25 pm

Well, Sharron Angle, Rand Paul, yadda, yadda, yadda……….

Section 1. Any officeholder, candidate for public office or media personage who claims to have been taken out of context must, upon making such claim, immediately provide explicit proof of how the statement or action at issue was taken out of context.

Section 2. All citizens and legal residents of the United States are empowered to punish any violator of Section 1 by pelting said violator with rotten eggs until such time as said violator (a) publicly admits that the statement(s) or action(s) at issue was not taken out of context, or (b) publicly provides proof sufficient to comport with Section 1.

The “‘News’ Means ‘News'” Amendment

In The Lives of Obnoxious Rich Brats Are Not 'News' on September 1, 2010 at 2:46 am

Simple but necessary:

Section 1. No radio, television, broadcast, cable, print, internet or any other media endeavor which makes any claim to being “news” shall ever mention the name “Paris Hilton.”

Section 2. Section 1 shall not apply to any hotel or other lodging facility that is both (a) owned and/or operated by Hilton Hotels and (b) located in any city, town or other jurisdiction lawfully named “Paris.”

Section 3. Any entity which violates Section 1 shall be summarily shut down.  Any natural person who, while in the employ, or otherwise at the direction, of such an entity violates Section 1 shall be summarily imprisoned for the duration of said person’s natural life.

Section 4. This Amendment is self-executing and may be enforced by the federal government or the government of any, or all, of the several states.

The ‘Permanently Extinguish Those Annoying (Fraudulent) Free Credit Report Commercials, et. al.’ Amendment

In Freedom From Being Locked into a Financial Caste on July 31, 2010 at 3:28 am

This one is pretty simple:

Sec. 1.  Credit records should be available only to those who actually extend credit.

Sec. 2.  This Amendment is self-executing.

I can’t take credit (Ha! Credit…get it? Uhhh…actually, I’m not getting any – at least what I need of it.  But, I digress…) for section one.  I lifted the language directly from Kevin Drum at Mother Jones.


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